Think About it Thursday #4

Letter to a friend. . .

First, I must ask your forgiveness. My own feelings or pride may have taken the place of what I should’ve said. And I feel that these written words may sound harsher than they would if spoken to you, and please know that it was not my intention. I have already asked forgiveness of God for any wrong that my foolish pride has done to you, and so now ask you to forgive me as well.

I do not claim to know your heart, or anyone else’s, but I do know that God’s word tells me over and over that neither my heart or anyone else’s can be trusted to do good left to itself. My concern for you is the same I have for all, and for myself. That we be not just trusting in a profession of faith, but in the person of Jesus Christ alone, and thereby should have ample fruit to give proof of our faith.

Allow me to explain why this is so important to me. I spent many years of my life in hypocrisy and thinking I was okay with God, because I could profess a faith in Him, and I believed He existed, and that He died and now lives. The problem was that I came to the realization that if I truly believed that, then my life in every aspect should show some sign of my faith being real. There should be submission to His Word and will on my part. Scriptures like those found in Matthew 7:21-23 “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” and “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that  Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?” - 2 Corinthians 13:5, scared me.

These and other Scriptures made me take a hard look at what I was actually living for. I was living for me. I did only things that satisfied me, pleased me, and even when something might look good to others, I did them with the intention of their seeing it and thinking well of me. 

I am not trying to presume to know whether or not you are saved, merely to exhort you to be sure, because you have implied to me that we cannot know for sure if we die this instant where we will be. “Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye  shall never fall:” - 2 Peter 1:10

You have told me that the Bible is full of contradictions. A Christian should never think such a thing of his God. “That by two immutable things, in which it was impossible for God to lie, we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us:” - Hebrews 6:18. God cannot lie, so if any of part of the Bible should be seen as untrue or not trustworthy, then it is to call God a liar. I do not say this to be condescending, but because God had to bring me to this. If there is something that may appear to be a contradiction in His Word, I trust that it must be true, not because I always see it as such, but because I trust it to be His Word, and I trust His character, that He cannot lie. “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.”-2 Timothy 3:16. And that if I don’t understand something, I don’t just have to say, “Oh well, must be wrong.” “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” - James 1:5.

I do not think myself better than you. On the contrary, I see myself as the most selfish and vile of all people. I know who I am and who I have been, and am disgusted with myself. When I read: “Master, what is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law of the prophets.” - Matthew 22:36-40. I see only am imperfect love for my Savior. I cannot keep His commandments. All my heart, soul, and mind do not even to seek to love Him all the time, not even a fraction of the time. I do not love my neighbor as I should, let alone as myself. This only makes Jesus more precious, because He kept all of the law. He was and is the only One who could satisfy the great and perfect requirements of God’s perfect and holy law. My salvation, my hope for anything and everything, rests solely in Him and what He has done. I could never choose right, and have proven so by always choosing wrongly when left to my own wisdom and doing. 

Could you share with me your conversion? Is Jesus precious to you? Would those who know you best say that Jesus is the most important thing in your life? Your greatest affection? 

“And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him. He that saith he abideth in him ought himself so to walk, even as he walked.” - 1 John 2:3-6

We do sin, I sin all the time. But I can also look at my life and see God growing me. The sign of true Christian faith is that we do sin, but we repent of our sins, and we do not live continually in gross sin. We are supposed to submit to the Word of God and its authority in all things. 

“Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law. And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin. Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. Whosoever is born of God doth not committ sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.” - 1 John 3:4-10

I am in no way claiming that I do not sin, but have the greatest desire not to sin, and am ashamed of my sins, and continually must seek the forgiveness of God for them. I love you, and I think you already know where we disagree, but let us make sure that our disagreement is with eachother and not with God. 

I do earnestly seek that all those I know would be saved. I say all this with love for your soul. I do not know whether you have ever looked at the Scriptures or not. I do not know whether or not you believe what they say. I do not know if you have justified yourself in sin by believing they are  untrustworthy. I know myself, and I know that the Bible says: “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.” - Romans 1:21-23. 

We create an image and commit idolatry when we do not take what God has said about Himself through His own word, the Bible, but instead create a god that we are comfortable with. When we take what we like from the Bible and reason away what we don’t like, we call Him a liar, and have made a god for ourselves to please our reason or worse that we might continue to live in sin. I have done this, and according to Scripture so have we all. I am not trying to stand in judgement over anyone. It’s not within my power to exact judgement, nor do I want to, and if I have been judgemental, God forgive me. But do not mistake God’s judgement in what He has already decreed in His Word, the Bible, for my judgement. If you truly have any desire to understand my understanding (which is infinitely limited) for how I would see anyone, myself included, apart from God, read the first three chapters of Romans. Please, read it for yourself, and take it for what it says, instead of assuming that it can’t be trusted. Trust the One it represents, as it is He who wrote it.

I love you enough to speak the truth to you, and will always love you thusly.

Think About it Thursday: News That's Never on the News

Today's "Think About it..." post is taken from the missionary organization Frontline Fellowship based out of South Africa.  Take a moment to read this and just think about it, because you won't hear about it anywhere else. To read more about their ministry or to learn more about persecution and violations of human rights in Africa go to their website here. 

Jihad Against Christians in Africa

Pastor Beheaded in Tanzania

Pastor Mathayo Kachili of the Tanzania Assemblies of God in Buseresere was    beheaded by a Muslim mob. The Geita Regional Police Commander's office                 issued a statement that the murder occurred during a confrontation when Muslims demanded the immediate closure of butcheries owned by Christians. Muslim youth      armed with clubs and machetes attacked Christians, injuring several people, some            of whom are in a critical condition.

Meat Monopoly Move by Muslim Minority

Pastor Kachili was murdered on Monday, 11 February, when a Muslim mob attacked       the Assemblies of God Church in Buseresere. This was part of a nation wide         campaign to force all meat industries in Tanzania to be run in accordance with Shari'a law and controlled by the Muslim minority.

Christian Response

ASSIST News Service quoted the General Superintendent of the Assemblies of God in Tanzania, Barnabas Mtokambali: "Our response as a Church is not one of violence and hatred, reflecting the attitude of those committing such crimes, but that of Christ    and reflecting His image, by loving and praying for those who humiliate and persecute us, and not holding such sins against       them." 

Minister Murdered in Tanzania

Father Evarist Mushi, was ambushed by three men and murdered in Zanzibar, Sunday, 17 February. Father Ambrose Mkenda was shot and seriously injured on Christmas Day 2012. He is still in hospital. A group calling itself Muslim Renewal, has claimed responsibility for the assassination of Father Mushi and has vowed to make this Easter season a "disaster" for Christians in Tanzania. 

Church Torched in Egypt

On 15 February, St. Georges Church in Sarsena was torched by a crowd of Muslims who complained that they could hear the sounds of Christian hymns being sung from the church. The attack occurred on a Friday, after Muslims attended their weekly meeting at the mosque.

Lawlessness

In the presence of the Chief of Police, hundreds of Muslims hurled bricks at the church, climbed onto the church dome, demolishing it, setting it on fire. The dome collapsed into the burning church causing much damage. The Muslims then used bricks from the dome, and the Holy Cross, to hurl at the altar inside the church, causing part of it to be demolished. The icons and religious artwork in the church were destroyed. The Muslim mob then attempted to assault Father Domadios, throwing rocks at him. None of the police made any effort to stop the destruction, or apprehend the perpetrators.

Reconciliation Muslim Style

The authorities did not prevent the destruction of the church, but immediately afterwards placed a security guard to prevent the media from filming the church and to prevent local parishioners, or reporters, entering the property. The authorities then organised what they called a "reconciliation meeting", which the Christians described as "unfair and humiliating, like all such previous meetings forced by the Muslim authorities." Even during the "reconciliation meeting" the church was again attacked by Muslims hurtling rocks and Molotov cocktail petrol bombs to destroy the remains of the dome, the pews, the windows, icons and relics.

Compulsion

Those Coptic members who were chosen by the Muslims to attend the so-called reconciliation meeting were forced to sign an"agreement" which would restrict the church from restoring the building to its original height before the attack. The church is to be no higher than 3 metres from the ground. They are also required to build a soundproof wall, so that Muslim neighbours do not hear any sound of hymns emanating from the church. The church is also required to pay for soundproof material and retiling of the roof of the Muslim neighbours, so that they do not have to hear the sound of any prayers, or hymn singing. The agreement also forced the church to agree to not use their property for a kindergarten. Muslims frequently quote from the Quran that there is no compulsion in Islam, yet by their actions show that compulsion is integral to Islam.

Bitter Arab Winter

No one responsible for the assault and arson on the church of St. Georges in Sarsena has been arrested. Christians in Egypt have complained that, in the last two years, attacks on Christians and destruction of church property has exploded throughout Egypt. The so-called Arab Spring has turned out to be a very bitter Winter for Christians.

Ethiopian Christians Arrested in Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabian authorities arrested 53 Ethiopian Christians on 8 February, for attending a private worship service in the home of an Ethiopian Believer in Damman, Eastern Province of Saudi Arabia. The arrests took place on Friday, 8 February at 10am. Damman, a major centre for petroleum and natural gas, has a large number of foreigners working there.

Intolerance and Repression

In December 2011, Saudi authorities arrested 35 Ethiopian Christians at a private prayer gathering in Jeddah. The Religious Liberty Commission of the World Evangelical Alliance, reports: "The Saudi government persists in banning all forms of public religious expression other than that of the government's interpretation of one school of Sunni Islam; prohibits churches, synagogues, temples and other non-Muslim places of worship. In its school state textbooks, and posts online, continue to espouse intolerance and incite violence; and periodically interferes with private religious practice."

Under Sentence of Death for Witnessing in Libya

Four foreigners, a South African, South Korean, Egyptian and Swedish American, were arrested in Benghazi, in Libya on 12 February. The Preventative Security Intelligence Unit of the Libyan Defence Ministry raided a publishing house, where they found 45,000 books about Christianity. The authorities claimed that they had reason to believe that some 25,000 Christian books had already been distributed. Quoting a Gaddafi era law forbidding proselytising under pain of death, security official Hussein Bin Hmeid, stated that Libya was "100% Muslim country and this kind of action affects our national security." The legislation forbidding proselytising provides for the death penalty for Christians who attempt to convert Muslims to Christianity in Libya.

Christian Cemeteries Desecrated, Hospitals and Churches Bombed

The President of the General National Congress, Mohammed El Magariaf, promised that the new constitution will enshrine Islamic Shari'a law as the principle source of all legislation. Salafi Muslim groups have bulldozed Sufi mosques, destroyed allied war cemeteries, bombed Red Cross Hospitals, fired at a Greek Orthodox Church, and bombed a Coptic Christian Church, killing two Egyptian Christians.

Ministers Arrested in Sudan for Baptism

The Coptic Bishop of Khartoum, Bishop Anba Elia, was arrested for refusing to apologise for the actions of two arrested Coptic priests who stand accused of baptising an Arab woman who converted to Christianity. To secure Bishop Elia's release, the Coptic Bishop of Omdurman was placed under duress to "maintain the security and integrity of the State and preserve relations between the Muslims and the Copts", was said to have issued an apology on Bishop Elia's behalf.

Violence Threatened

Violence has also been threatened against Copts in general, unless the Arab convert, who fled Sudan, returns to face the consequences demanded by Shari'a law. According to Christian Solidarity Worldwide, at least 55 Christians, that they know of, have been detained without charge for the last two weeks as part of a wave of repression enforcing Shari'a law in Sudan.

"Remember the prisoners as if chained with them - those who are mistreated - since you yourselves are in the body also."Hebrews 13:3

What should we do when we hear or read things like this? Can we do anything? 

Let us pray for those who are living under threat of persecution. 

Think About It Thursday #3

Advice on Reading by: Richard Baxter (1615-1691)

"Make careful choice of the books which you read: let the holy scriptures ever have the pre-eminence, and, next to them, those solid, lively, heavenly treatises which best expound and apply the scriptures, and next, credible histories, especially of the Church . . . but take heed of false teachers who would corrupt your understandings."

1. As there is a more excellent appearance of the Spirit of God in the holy scripture, than in any other book whatever, so it has more power and fitness to convey the Spirit, and make us spiritual, by imprinting itself upon our hearts. As there is more of God in it, so it will acquaint us more with God, and bring us nearer Him, and make the reader more reverent, serious and divine. Let scripture be first and most in your hearts and hands and other books be used as subservient to it. The endeavours of the devil and papists to keep it from you, doth shew that it is most necessary and desirable to you.

2. The writings of divines are nothing else but a preaching of the gospel to the eye, as the voice preaches it to the ear. Vocal preaching has the pre-eminence in moving the affections, and being diversified according to the state of the congregation which attend it: this way the milk comes warmest from the breast. But books have the advantage in many other respects: you may read an able preacher when you have but a average one to hear. Every congregation cannot hear the most judicious or powerful preachers: but every single person may read the books of the most powerful and judicious; preachers may be silenced or banished, when books may be at hand: books may be kept at a smaller charge than preachers: we may choose books which treat of that, very subject which we desire to hear of; but we cannot choose what subject the preacher shall treat of. Books we may have at hand every day. and hour; when we can have sermons but seldom, and at set times. If sermons be forgotten, they are gone; but a book we may read over and over, till we remember it: and if we forget it, may again peruse it at our pleasure, or at our leisure. So that good books are a very great mercy to the world: the Holy Ghost chose the way of writing, to preserve His doctrine and laws to the 'Church, as knowing how easy and sure a way it is of keeping it safe to all generations, in comparison of mere verbal traditions.

3. You have need of a judicious teacher at hand, to direct you what books to use or to refuse: for among good books there are some very good that are sound and lively; and some good, but mediocre, and weak and somewhat dull; and some are very good in part, but have mixtures of error, or else of incautious, injudicious expressions, fitter to puzzle than edify the weak.

While reading ask oneself:

1. Could I spend this time no better?

2. Are there better books that would edify me more?

3. Are the lovers of such a book as this the greatest lovers of the Book of God and of a    holy life?

4. Does this book increase my love to the Word of God, kill my sin, and prepare me for the life to come?

Think About it Thursday #1

So, I love to read. I mean there are more books in our house than cheerios (or since we don't buy name brands and try to eat organic, toasted oat o's). But that's not the point. The point is we'd rather be reading than doing just about anything, so I'm going to be posting excerpts from books or online articles that really made me think. So, here ya go....

A Masai Warrior Named Joseph

This is an account of a Masai Warrior named Jospeh as told by Michael Card.
"One day Joseph, who was walking along one of these hot, dirty African roads, met someone who shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with him. Then and there he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior. The power of the Spirit began transforming his life; he was filled with such excitement and joy that the first thing he wanted to do was return to his own village and share that same Good News with the members of his local tribe.
Joseph began going from door-to-door, telling everyone he met about the Cross of Jesus and the salvation it offered, expecting to see their faces light up the way his had. To his amazement the villagers not only didn't care, they became violent. The men of the village seized him and held him to the ground while the women beat him with strands of barbed wire. He was dragged from the village and left to die alone in the bush.
Joseph somehow managed to crawl to a waterhole,  and there, after days of passing in and out of consciousness, found the strength to get up. He wondered about the hostile reception he had received from people he had known all his life. He decided he must have left something out or told the story of Jesus incorrectly. After rehearsing the message he had first heard, he decided to go back and share his faith once more.
Joseph limped into the circle of huts and began to proclaim Jesus. "He died for you, so that you might find forgiveness and come to know the living God," he pleaded. Again he was grabbed by the men of the village and held while the women beat him, reopening wounds that had just begun to heal. Once more they dragged him unconscious from the village and left him to die.
To have survived the first beating was truly remarkable. To live through the second was a miracle. Again, days later, Joseph awoke in the wilderness, bruised, scarred - and determined to go back.
He returned to the small village and this time, they attacked him before he had a chance to open his mouth. As they flogged him for the third and probably the last time, he again spoke to them of Jesus Christ, the Lord. Before he passed out, the last thing he saw was that the women who were beating him began to weep.
This time he awoke in his own bed. The ones who had so severely beaten him were trying to save his life and nurse him back to health. The entire village had come to Christ."


"Who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up that which is behind of the afflictions of Christ in my flesh for his body's sake, which is the church:"-Colossians 1:24


"Christ's afflictions are not lacking in their atoning sufficiency. They are lacking in that they are not known and felt by people who were not at the cross. Paul dedicates himself not only to carry the message of those sufferings to the nations but also to suffer with Christ and for Christ in such a way so that what people see are "Christ's sufferings." In this way he follows the pattern of Christ by laying down his life for the life of the church." -John Piper, "Let the Nations be Glad: The Supremacy of God in Missions"

Is Blogging Like Reality TV?

So not real picture of me. Blessed to have taken my shower
last night and to have dry hair. Coffee cup strategically
placed over blemishes, and empty of coffee. Camera angled
so that you can't see all the clutter in the kitchen and shot
so you can't see my insecurities ;)

Perhaps the title is a bit misleading, but what I mean is do we read blogs for the same reason we watch reality tv? Do they both affect us the same way, for better or worse? Warning: this could easily morph into multiple posts on the topic.

I realize that everyone could give many different reasons as to why they are into reading blogs or watching reality tv, but I think there are some similarities, good and bad.

First, there's the question of is this really reality? I think very few people are convinced anymore that so-called "reality" tv is actually real. At its worst it's likely to be very scripted and one can't trust that any of it is void of scripted antics merely for the sake of sensationalism. And yet at it's best, it can't truly be real either. After all, if there were tv cameras at your house would everything go as normal? Would you still be in your pajamas while you drink your morning coffee? Would your tone change as you correct your children?

The Duggars, although slightly controversial, I think most would agree represent such a positive view in "reality" tv, and yet I am certain there are things not realistic in their portrayal. For example, you never see the older girls just after they wake up before their hair is perfect or their makeup is on. And even the older boys, father, and mother are rarely seen without looking put together. I am not saying this is bad or criticizing them for it, because honestly, I think I would strive to do the same in their situation, merely to point out that even when the intentions are to be completely forthright and honest in reflecting the reality of this family, it's still not truly an accurate portrayal of day to day life, and I wouldn't expect it to be so.

I think the same can be said of blogging. I don't think most people who are writing a blog are actively seeking to be misleading or dishonest, but like reality tv, we either think no one wants to see the ugly side of life (which honestly, we don't for the most part), or we only blog when we think we have something of some relevance to say.

There's a danger I think in both when it comes to the reality of both. The truth is we don't really know people on reality shows, but we don't usually really know the people who write the blogs we follow either. And yet, it's so weird how we feel as though we do. Because both venues seemingly open the lives and homes of total strangers to us as if we were close family or friends, we feel a relationship with them when none exists. Even when I look to blogs as entertaining or for useful information or as a tool for learning more, I can't help but feel a relationship with the person writing it, though they be a total stranger. And worse still, there is not a relationship with anything other than my computer/iphone! And the relationships, or potential relationships, with the real people that I see daily all around me can somehow take a backseat in priority to reading the latest about my beloved blog friends.

I'm not suggesting that watching reality tv or reading blogs are in and of themselves a sin or wrong, merely that I think they have the potential to keep us from our reality. They can keep us from having meaningful relationships with our families and neighbors, and worse as a Christian from witnessing to those around us. I realize that anything can become an idol, and don't even get me started on social networking (fb, I'm talking to you!) and how it's pulled me from those I love, but the potential through our computers and phones to make it so much easier to get lost in a virtual world of unreality no matter how many real people are behind it, is frankly scary.

"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not."-1 Corinthians 10:23

This isn't a new year's resolution, but I am going to try, by God's grace to get out of this web pulling me  away from those around me. My phone is just going to have to be a phone again, and though I do still plan on blogging, I don't plan on reading blogs as much. I want to see and talk to my kids and my husband and my neighbors, no offense, but God has put me directly into their lives for a reason, and I feel as though I have often neglected them.
This is totally my sin, not to start a ban on blogging/internet ;)
The internet and blogging and fb have all been wonderful tools for me, and I will continue to use them as such, but I don't want to do it, or anything else for that matter, to the neglect of my home or others. I hope my kids see me accessing a tool, but not seeking it over them.

"Rejoice in the Lord alway: [and] again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord [is] at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at the last your care of me hath flourished again; wherein ye were also careful, but ye lacked opportunity. Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, [therewith] to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."-Philippians 4:4-13

So, how do you keep your use of technology and social media in check? How do you involve your family in them? Is there anything you would change about your use of them?

"But godliness with contentment is great gain."-1 Timothy 6:6

God make me content to be with those You have given me influence over, and keep me from idolatry of any kind. I pray that you would make me value You above all else, and that I would seek to serve others rather than my selfish desires for a life outside of Your will. I pray that it would be You and not me to influence, and that no matter what You would be most glorified in my life. 

So, Here's the Story...

So, here's the story :)
When our sweet first son was about nine months old (December 2011), we went to my parents house where my dad asked if I was pregnant. I was a little embarrassed and tried to laugh it off by saying I just haven't been running much lately. Then, our daughter asked me how the baby was in my tummy! (She had been praying for another baby since her brother was born in March 2011.)
Now I was starting to think I must be getting fat or maybe I am pregnant. So, to stop everyone from asking any more I decided to increase my exercising, but because of my history of miscarriages, I,  ever the paranoid, decided I should take a test just to be sure. Well.....I was pregnant!!!
How was this possible?
See, I was supposed to have PCOS(polycystic ovarian syndrome). We had to go to a fertility doctor and take metformin to conceive our daughter and then took metformin and clomid to conceive before our miscarriages and our son. We didn't think we could ever even become pregnant without the help of a doctor and at least medication. And the weird thing is that our fertility doctor had retired and the doctor who established the clinic died and the clinic closed, for good. We had been wondering if we needed to find a new doctor or if we just needed to be content with the two blessings of a daughter and a son that God had already so graciously given to us. Now we had become pregnant without a doctor, without medications, and while breastfeeding!
And it gets better, because at our first ultrasound visit, they said there were no long any cysts on my ovaries! I believe God healed me. I don't know why He did. I never even asked Him to heal me of this, but I believe He did, and I am so thankful.
So, after a fairly uneventful pregnancy and a lot of extra fluid, we had our second son on August 21, 2012. He was and is huge still at five months.

Happy family :)

And this is a big part of what I have been up to in the last year. I hope this encouraged you, and that you'll know and be reminded that nothing is impossible for God.
Has God done something amazing in your life over the last few months? Please share here, so we can all praise Him together. Love in Christ!

For A Season

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:"-Ecclesiastes 3:1

I am in a particular season for my life, so are you. My season happens to be being a wife and a mom to a 3 yr. old and an almost 3 month old.
Just four years ago my life was completely different. I was in a totally different mindset and season. I could spend most of my day the way I wanted to. I could keep my home perfectly spotless. I could go to the bathroom without an audience. I could read/type a sentence without being interrupted by dressing paper dolls or changing a diaper. I could start projects and finish them in a timely manner. My body was my own, and entirely for my husband with no nursing babies laying claim to it. I could work out whenever I chose. I could eat what I liked (right now I'm nursing a baby with colic and acid reflux and have had to take dairy, all dairy, out of my diet). 
This post could easily turn into a rant. I could easily complain about how different my life is and the fact that I can't do whatever I like whenever I like. I could lament the changes my body has had to go through in order to give birth to and nurse two children. I could cry tears of self-pity over the never-ending mess my home seems to be in, and the fact that I can constantly clean it without any noticeable change. 
But I know this is only a season. I will not be the mother of young children forever. They are already growing up before my eyes and changing in ways that amaze me daily. They won't always coo and smile those toothless grins, or hug me at night and say, "Mommy, I want to stay with you forever!". I am forever grateful to God for my children.
This is only for a season. And yet there are things that will never be the same, even when this season has passed. Let's be honest, I will never look the same as I did on my wedding day, even if I could still wear my wedding dress. I will always feel the affects of having been pregnant four times (we have two babies in heaven), my body will never be as it was prior to having children. Being a stay-at-home mother who's trying to homeschool means I will not be working full-time outside the home as I used to, and money will always probably be tight.
And yet none of those things are really bothering me. Lately there's only been one overwhelming thing that is making me feel, well, a little depressed to be honest. Guilt. I feel guilt over not being the mother I want to be. I feel guilty not being able to keep my home the way I want to keep it. I feel guilty not being able to fit in many of my clothes and still be modest (nursing moms, you know what I mean!). I feel guilty not having the time or energy to be there for my husband as I would like to be. I feel guilty for not spending time being hospitable. 
But most of all, I feel guilty because I don't have the time or energy or frankly the motivation to pray and read and study God's Word as I would like and know I need. I get so caught up trying to catch up or just feeling exhausted, that I feel like I'm wasting the time I've been given. 

‎"It is an unpleasant mistake to think all the time as lost which is not spent in reading, or hearing sermons, or prayer. These are properly called means of grace; they should be attended to in their proper season; but the fruits of grace are to appear in our common daily course of conduct." - John Newton

I had been taking out my frustration from this guilt on anyone and everything. Now granted, I wasn't abusing my kids or my husband, and  I wasn't neglecting needs, but I was doing things with a bitter heart. And no matter how much I tried to be cheerful, my heart was full of frustration and anger, and it was affecting those around me. 

There's a lot of guilt that comes with motherhood, and it's fueled by worry and genuine love for my family. I love my kids and my husband more than I've ever loved anything or anyone ever. I want most of all for them to see Jesus in my love for them lived out in all that I do or say, for them to see the gospel in every word and deed. But my heart's wickedness can nullify that. My attitude can negate the words I say or the things I do, because they aren't done with the right affections. God has to come before my husband, my children, my home, and me. 

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me."-Exodus 20:3

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment."-Matthew 22:37-38

God has to have the first place in my life, but that's in the light of the gospel. What I mean is, God doesn't change the state of my salvation or my standing in Christ before Him, simply because I sin or because I'm going through a season where I can't read, study, or pray as I want to. 

"But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised [us] up together, and made [us] sit together in heavenly [places] in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in [his] kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast."-Ephesians 2:4-9

Putting God first doesn't mean I am living a monastic life or that I am sitting in a quiet room for hours praying and studying. It means that I acknowledge Him in all that I do. It means that I submit to His will, knowing that He created this season for me, and that my joyful embracing of it will glorify Him and be for my good. It means that my heart will rejoice in Him when I feel so depressed. It means that I will take refuge in His peace when I am surrounded by chaos. And I will serve those around me with a joyful heart, knowing that in doing so I will glorify my God and show Jesus to my family and those around me. 

"Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, [is] therefore Christ the minister of sin? God forbid. For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law am dead to the law, that I might live unto God. I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness [come] by the law, then Christ is dead in vain."-Galatians 2:16-21

There is no better way to be like our Lord than to be glad to take the lowliest position, in meekness to embrace the draining of ourselves to serve others, to rejoice in being made low that He can be made higher, and to be a stranger in this world by showing them our steadfast devotion to our God, Jesus the suffering servant, as we are blessed to be given the opportunity to emulate and follow Him in giving our all to our family. 

"Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross."-Philippians 2:5-8

I watched my mother for years pour out herself for her family and others. She did it without complaining, but with a quiet and a meek spirit. She showed me Christ and the gospel by giving us grace and mercy and love, while she received nothing in return. So, I am going to ask God to forgive me for where I have wasted the time He has given, for the attitude of my heart, for not coming to Him sooner with my sins, and for not trusting Him fully in this season. And I pray He grant me repentance in these areas, and I am going to put my hand to the plow and not look back.

"And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."-Luke 9:62

So, who's with me? 

31 Days To Clean Homemaking Challenge: Day One :D

Okay, so first know that you don't have to purchase the book, but it definitely will help you to follow the challenge. Second that the idea of the challenge isn't really about always having a spotless home per se, but more about examining our hearts and growing in our understanding of how keeping a home is glorifying to God.

Each day has a Mary and a Martha challenge.

Day One's Mary challenge is to as the question, "Why do you want a clean home?" and to come up with a mission statement. This is to keep you motivated to be consistent (the main problem I have). You are to place it where you can read it each day and it should take you no more than a minute to read it. I am long winded in everything I write or say, so here are my reasons. I've written them for our family, mostly in the hopes that I can teach these to our children. I call them my Dirty Dozen (I wasn't aiming for twelve, it just came out that way).

Mrs. W's Dirty Dozen:
1. We clean to honor God by being good stewards with what He has given us and showing our gratitude for it.
2. We clean to honor our husband/father by making and keeping our home a welcoming and restful place.
3. We clean to be an example of productivity and stewardship to each other and to others outside of our home.
4. We clean to practice self-discipline.
5. We clean to practice self-denial.
6. We clean for the sake of cleanliness, sanitation, and sanity.
7. We clean to serve others, and not just those in our family, but also our guests.
8. We clean to keep from falling into the temptations of being slothful,        
laziness, and idleness.
9. We clean to keep things orderly and create a beauty in our home reflective of God's order and beauty in creation.
10. We clean to keep things where we can find them easily.
11. We clean to reduce stress, anger, and frustration.
12. We clean so that we may truly set aside a time of rest from our work.

Day One's Martha challenge is to gather supplies. Oh yeah, I've got that one down ; )

"Storms and Tornados..."

Picture taken in Kingsport a 30 minute drive from where we live. A tornado was spotted in another part of town last
night. Photographer was George "Mo" Monroe, and you can see more pictures of lightening strikes from last night here .

Last night our family spent a lot of time in our basement, and an awful hour in a tiny basement closet underneath the stairs. Why? Well, in case you didn't know last night several severe thunderstorms and tornados went through the South. We weren't too worried about the tornado warning until our local 911 began calling homes here with an automated message that said to, "Take cover immediately."
I learned several things while waiting with my husband, our 3 year old daughter, and 8 week old son. 


First, we should really go through the stuff in that closet and make it to where we can sit comfortably over a long time, or at least so we can fit chairs comfortably. But our daughter was excited to find a favorite video there, although not so excited to discover that we couldn't watch it there. We also learned that eating ice cream can calm a 3 year old very nicely when she's sitting with her daddy (we have a freezer in our basement, and thanks to Mamaw and Papaw she had a little cup with the perfect serving of strawberry swirl ice cream, and daddy had his half gallon of chocolate chip cookie dough courtesy of Breyers to calm him. Mommy is nursing Lil' Feller and he is currently lactose intolerant with acid reflux, so my diet is sans dairy, and pretty much anything flavorful).


Second, there always needs to be a potty. We should never go anywhere without one. In the middle of the storm three-year olds may have the uncontrollable urge to urinate, and it's extremely stressful when they can no longer wait and you have to send your husband daughter upstairs to the bathroom. But I suppose I can be glad when she says she has to take the time to really wash her hands instead of just using hand sanitizer after she's went and my husband's trying to get her to hurry back to the basement. 


Thirdly, tornados provide a great teaching opportunity to teach children about God. There is nothing that shows His omnipotence and sovereign power and glory more than a storm that could potentially kill you. We told my daughter again about how God had protected His people Israel (something we had been recently studying) and then the story of Jesus and His disciples on the Sea of Galilee, how we need not fear, because Jesus is with us, but at the same time how easily we do fear the storms instead of fearing the One Who controls the storms as we should.


"And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith? And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?"-Mark 4:37-41


I was made newly aware of how terrifyingly powerful our God is, and how weak and helpless we all are. The fact that all of us are continually at the constant mercy of God for our very existence. And yet, as I tucked in my babies afterward, and got to talk to our daughter about, how great God's love and mercy and goodness are! The fact that He doesn't leave us in the storm, that He is always there, and even when the worst comes our way, He is still in complete control. That all things are happening only as He wills them, and when we don't understand them, we can trust He does. We can trust that in His perfect wisdom and goodness and love that it was the best right thing for His glory and our good. (Romans 8:28-31 )


After the storm, even though it was way past bedtimes, my husband took us all to the basement door. Me holding Lil' Feller and him holding our Princess, and we watched the storm just beyond us as lightening illuminated the whole sky bright as day when it struck. We stood there in awe of God's power and glory, and yet gratefully in awe of His mercy and grace shown to us there. We gasped and trembled at the thundering of our God's power and "God's light" as our daughter called the lightening. I was almost breathless as my husband said to us, standing there looking at the heavens, that one day our Lord Jesus Christ would be coming in His glory in the clouds and how much more power and glory would be seen then. 


This is a song my dad wrote years ago, and it's so timely for those of us waking up after a hard night of storms. It's called "My Lord Might Come Anytime", and I'm reminded of how easily my own heart becomes attached to the things and places here, when all the while I should be working and watching for Him to take me to my real home.


Please pray for those who are waking up and unlike our family have lost loved ones, homes, cars, and are without power and phones, looking for their family and friends unsure of what they will find. Love in Christ.

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