Well, I don't want anyone to think we were trying to mislead anyone, so here's what happened next after that new was given to us.
If you've ever had a miscarriage, you know that you have to keep going to the doctor and having blood drawn so they can monitor the hormone levels and make sure that they return to normal. We were told after bloodwork on June 29 that we were losing this pregnancy and to come back in a week for follow-up blood tests. My dear husband went with me, and after they drew blood we went out for lunch with our little girl. During that lunch, I got a call from the doctor's office (which they never do, I've always had to call them for the results and they never have them that quickly when I call). The HCG levels had risen really high, and because I had an ectopic pregnancy in March the doctor was afraid that I was having another one, so he wanted to do an ultrasound immediately. We went back to the office and they did an ultrasound. I'll never forget the looks on both the nurse and doctor's faces. There was an egg with a yolk sac! The doctor said in all his years he had never seen anything like this and he's a fertility specialist.
We were just praising God for His sovereignty and mercy and goodness to us! But we decided that we shouldn't publicize the news until the pregnancy was better established.
And so, we went back every two weeks since then, first seeing a hearbeat, then a growing baby, and finally today...
This is our baby!!!
I don't know what happened at the beginning of this pregnancy that made our doctor think our baby was dead or dying, but I do know that only God is in charge of life and death and He has made that abundantly clear in the granting of life and sustaining of life to our child! Our prayer is that God will be glorified in not only this pregnancy, but in the life of this child!
There are so many things I have learned in this pregnancy already. Since losing babies, I am extremely skittish and nervous about everything, and I mean everything, but I am learning every day that I have only One Hope and that is Christ. I have learned that I am helpless and hopeless without Him. That God owes me nothing, including a baby. That I either trust Him or I don't. That because He owes me nothing that there can only be one reason why God would be merciful and that's because when He sees me, He doesn't see my wicked filthiness, but the perfect righteousness of Jesus Christ!!! ("but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."-Romans 5:8) I learned that for those who are in Christ, that we are all viewed the same by God, and that the most famous saints are regarded by God as equal because we all stand before God in Christ's righteousness and not our own. ("To those who have obtained a faith of equal standing with ours by the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ:"-2 Peter 1:1) I also learned that that means our prayers are just as effective and just as likely to be answered. This led me to the knowledge revealed in James that when we ask God something in prayer we must believe He can and will do it. ("But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."-James 1:6-8) And it led me to understand what Peter says in 2nd Peter. ("then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials,"-2 Peter 2:9a) That God knows how to deliver us and will do it for the righteous, if I possess Christ's righteousness, then I am righteous and He will deliver me from trials!
I know this may sound weird, but I think it's been for good that God had us lose our babies. For one thing, it makes us appreciate this miracle all the more. And what I have come to know, I mean really know, not just believe about God, I don't think I could've before.
The fertility specialist whom we have been seeing has released us today to see our regular obstetrician. My first appointment with her is next Tuesday, and I can't wait to share the story of God's sovereignty in the life of this baby and give God all the glory for it! I pray that this will impact both the staff at the fertility center as well as at our regular doctors! May God be glorified in this life! May all who read this and hear this story know that there is only One True God and that He is Sovereign over all of life and death! May you all be blessed to see that God does miracles and He is faithful!!! Love in Christ!
