First of all, I have to thank my friend Michelle for inspiring me to start my own blog and for loaning me a book that has really made me think. feel convicted about some things. The book is entitled "Passionate Housewives Desperate for God: Fresh Vision for the Hopeful Homemaker" by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald. I know, it has a really catchy title, but so far it has been like a breath of fresh air. Finally a book written by women who have a great desire to follow Proverbs 31, Titus 2, and 1 Peter 3! And are practical in its application, while teaching with all meekness and love.
Well, this evening I was reading from it, only to realize that not only do I sometimes many times speak badly of my husband, both directly and indirectly, but that I do so in front of our daughter at times. I am so ashamed of myself, and am standing in need of God's forgiveness as well as my husband and daughter's.
I know that sometimes I only say things in kind of a sarcastic way and it may seem as though I am only trying to be funny, but I'm afraid my intentions may flow from some kind of bitterness towards my husband. O God, where is this coming from?
"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."-Proverbs 31:10-12
"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."-Proverbs 31:26
I am afraid that the only I often open my mouth with is my foot. It is amazing and even depressing at times how God sanctifies us and conforms us to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). When God first regenerated me from death to new life in Him, I thought that meant that everything would change in an instant, in other words, I thought that meant that I would stop doing all the sinful things I couldn't stop doing before and my life would only be peace and joy and living without sin. Yes, I was extremely naive and without much discernment, but God has since grown me in His wisdom a little, and I can daily see sanctification going on. Which means that daily God is showing me more sinfulness and corruption in my flesh. But, praise God "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."(1John 1:9)!
This is why "The just shall live by faith" (Habakkuk 2:4, Romans 1:17)! I can do nothing but sin on my own. Everything in me wants to satisfy only myself, and wants no one to tell me what to do, including God. And yet, God in His infinite mercy, love, and grace, kept me from myself and has reconciled me to Him through His Son, Jesus Christ's penal substitutionary atonement on the cross!!!
"Therefore, we must have this blessedness not just once but must hold to it throughout life. Finally, he testifies that the embassy of free reconciliation with God is published not for one day or another but is attested as perpetual in the church [cf. II Cor. 5:18-19]. Accordingly, to the very end of life, believers have no other righteousness than that which is there described. For Christ ever remains the Mediator to reconcile the Father to us; and his death has everlasting efficacy: namely, cleansing, satisfaction, atonement, and finally perfect obedience, with which all our iniquities are covered. And Paul does not say to the Ephesians that we have the beginning of salvation from grace but that we have been saved through grace, "not by works, lest any man should boast" [Eph. 2:8-9]."-The Institutes of the Christian Religion, by John Calvin, book III, chapter xiv
I am a gossip girl. I talk about others, even with the appearance of only having Christians concern for them, but it's deeper than that and becomes gossip, as I tell it not with the intention of them being prayed for or the edifying of them, but to make conversation or because I am arrogant and prideful. God, please take this evil from me! Purge me of this sin!
Love in truth.