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6.08.2011

I Am Not a Supermom

Dear Reader,
Have you ever found yourself enjoying a short afternoon respite in front of your computer/smartphone perusing the blogosphere, reading about other moms and their ideas, goals, helps, and lives? If so, have you ever spent said time wondering how they accomplish all this? How do they seem to have perfectly smiling babies, or a cleaning/organization formula that keeps their home spotless, or how they seem to love their husbands without any complaining? Or have you, like myself, simply wondered how on earth they have the time to not only accomplish all this, but to write about it for us to read?!?
Well, just so you know, I am not a supermom (not that you thought I was). And this morning has been a case in point. Perhaps God is teaching me patience and humiliation, I mean humility ;). 
Honestly, my house is a mess. No, we're not in danger for our health, thankfully it's not that bad, but it's still not how I want it to be. Babies cry and toddlers have tantrums requiring spankings. I never feel I have enough time in Bible study and prayer. And I've had to come to the conclusion that exercise will happen again; last week I only got to run once :*(
I am not writing this to complain or to incur sympathy, but rather to be honest and to show the imperfections. I think it's so easy to read blogs and facebook or twitter even, and think that everyone has it all together and never gets behind in their housework while still having time to write and homeschool their kids and pray and read and all those other things we wish we could do. 
The truth is I have a three year old and a three month old, and my husband is working twelve hour shifts which means with his long commute he's gone from 5:30 am until 7 pm. Just keeping up with the regular have-to-do kind of chores takes all of my time, and even then I often feel as though I'm running in circles. It's easy to want to only share the good things here, but I'm realizing that's not honest and it could even cause someone to feel guilty about their life or even covet what it seems like I have. 
The truth about being a keeper of the home, a mom, a wife, and a homeschooler, is that things often do not go as planned and I'm learning to be okay with that. My kids are loved, fed, clothed, and taken care of. We all always have something clean to wear, something to eat, and lots of love, and that's what matters. 
I've had to put down my "31 Days to Clean" book, because my husband asked me to read another book first. Yet, I'm still thinking about how I approach cleaning and homemaking. 
This morning, both kids and myself have already had to change clothes twice before ten o'clock, my new iphone (my old phone wouldn't let me call out anymore)can't be activated through my macbook, because it's from 2007 and needed software updates which aren't possible until I install a new OS Leopard which is $30 (!!!) and requires a disk only available at an Apple Store (the nearest is about a two and half hour journey) or online, so we're going to have to head to the AT&T store (a 30 minute drive) to activate the phone, so I can at least use it as a phone (I know that sounds just as crazy to me), so I have my husband's phone today as we don't have a ground line just cell phones. I am really starting to resent technology. *Grrr*
I'm slowly and painfully learning that God doesn't expect perfection from me (that's why Christ died, I can't be perfect), and my family won't either. Instead "the just shall live by faith" (Romans 1:17). I have to rest, by faith, in Christ's perfection and righteousness, because I have none of my own. (2 Corinthians 5:21I need the gospel everyday. I need grace everyday just to be gracious to my own family.
Today instead of lamenting what needs to be done, I'm going to choose, by God's grace, to enjoy ourselves. I will still work and clean here, otherwise our home would quickly become intolerably messy, but I'm going to strive to do it with joy and diligence, and I'm going to try to be honest about it. 
Let's put to rest the myth of Supermom. She doesn't exist. Real moms struggle sometimes. We cry in frustration, we get upset at messes, we feel guilty about things left undone, and we feel overwhelmed and we never feel as though we are good parents, or at least I don't. No one is really doing everything well, and we all fail to meet our own expectations and goals. 
I'm reminded of 1 Corinthians 10:31, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." I'm sure this includes days when it doesn't all get done, or it doesn't get done the way we think it should. Today I'm going to strive to do my best for the glory of God, knowing that's what really matters, and leave the results to Him whatever they may be.
My family :*)

2 comments:

Ma said...

I know how you feel.

I gave up on being supermom a few years ago. I was taught that with a buncha little ones and especially homeschooling the house is never ever ever going to look "nice" like it did before kids. It's a new normal. Like you said, not unhealthy but definitely not HGTV worthy. You have a beautiful family who much probably rather enjoy a "lived in" house than a completely stressed out momma!

Sarah : ) www.crumbsundermytable.blogspot.com said...

Thanks Ma! There were four of us and my mom keeps reminding me that our house was definitely never perfect, but the weird thing is I remember it being perfect. I'm trying to keep reminding myself that my kids idea of a perfect home has little to do with cleaning. Although Shelby did tell me the other day, after she stepped on a coco puff, "Mommy, you need to sweep the floor." LOL!