For A Season

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:"-Ecclesiastes 3:1

I am in a particular season for my life, so are you. My season happens to be being a wife and a mom to a 3 yr. old and an almost 3 month old.
Just four years ago my life was completely different. I was in a totally different mindset and season. I could spend most of my day the way I wanted to. I could keep my home perfectly spotless. I could go to the bathroom without an audience. I could read/type a sentence without being interrupted by dressing paper dolls or changing a diaper. I could start projects and finish them in a timely manner. My body was my own, and entirely for my husband with no nursing babies laying claim to it. I could work out whenever I chose. I could eat what I liked (right now I'm nursing a baby with colic and acid reflux and have had to take dairy, all dairy, out of my diet). 
This post could easily turn into a rant. I could easily complain about how different my life is and the fact that I can't do whatever I like whenever I like. I could lament the changes my body has had to go through in order to give birth to and nurse two children. I could cry tears of self-pity over the never-ending mess my home seems to be in, and the fact that I can constantly clean it without any noticeable change. 
But I know this is only a season. I will not be the mother of young children forever. They are already growing up before my eyes and changing in ways that amaze me daily. They won't always coo and smile those toothless grins, or hug me at night and say, "Mommy, I want to stay with you forever!". I am forever grateful to God for my children.
This is only for a season. And yet there are things that will never be the same, even when this season has passed. Let's be honest, I will never look the same as I did on my wedding day, even if I could still wear my wedding dress. I will always feel the affects of having been pregnant four times (we have two babies in heaven), my body will never be as it was prior to having children. Being a stay-at-home mother who's trying to homeschool means I will not be working full-time outside the home as I used to, and money will always probably be tight.
And yet none of those things are really bothering me. Lately there's only been one overwhelming thing that is making me feel, well, a little depressed to be honest. Guilt. I feel guilt over not being the mother I want to be. I feel guilty not being able to keep my home the way I want to keep it. I feel guilty not being able to fit in many of my clothes and still be modest (nursing moms, you know what I mean!). I feel guilty not having the time or energy to be there for my husband as I would like to be. I feel guilty for not spending time being hospitable. 
But most of all, I feel guilty because I don't have the time or energy or frankly the motivation to pray and read and study God's Word as I would like and know I need. I get so caught up trying to catch up or just feeling exhausted, that I feel like I'm wasting the time I've been given. 

‎"It is an unpleasant mistake to think all the time as lost which is not spent in reading, or hearing sermons, or prayer. These are properly called means of grace; they should be attended to in their proper season; but the fruits of grace are to appear in our common daily course of conduct." - John Newton

I had been taking out my frustration from this guilt on anyone and everything. Now granted, I wasn't abusing my kids or my husband, and  I wasn't neglecting needs, but I was doing things with a bitter heart. And no matter how much I tried to be cheerful, my heart was full of frustration and anger, and it was affecting those around me. 

There's a lot of guilt that comes with motherhood, and it's fueled by worry and genuine love for my family. I love my kids and my husband more than I've ever loved anything or anyone ever. I want most of all for them to see Jesus in my love for them lived out in all that I do or say, for them to see the gospel in every word and deed. But my heart's wickedness can nullify that. My attitude can negate the words I say or the things I do, because they aren't done with the right affections. God has to come before my husband, my children, my home, and me. 

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me."-Exodus 20:3

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment."-Matthew 22:37-38

God has to have the first place in my life, but that's in the light of the gospel. What I mean is, God doesn't change the state of my salvation or my standing in Christ before Him, simply because I sin or because I'm going through a season where I can't read, study, or pray as I want to. 

"But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised [us] up together, and made [us] sit together in heavenly [places] in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in [his] kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast."-Ephesians 2:4-9

Putting God first doesn't mean I am living a monastic life or that I am sitting in a quiet room for hours praying and studying. It means that I acknowledge Him in all that I do. It means that I submit to His will, knowing that He created this season for me, and that my joyful embracing of it will glorify Him and be for my good. It means that my heart will rejoice in Him when I feel so depressed. It means that I will take refuge in His peace when I am surrounded by chaos. And I will serve those around me with a joyful heart, knowing that in doing so I will glorify my God and show Jesus to my family and those around me. 

"Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, [is] therefore Christ the minister of sin? God forbid. For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law am dead to the law, that I might live unto God. I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness [come] by the law, then Christ is dead in vain."-Galatians 2:16-21

There is no better way to be like our Lord than to be glad to take the lowliest position, in meekness to embrace the draining of ourselves to serve others, to rejoice in being made low that He can be made higher, and to be a stranger in this world by showing them our steadfast devotion to our God, Jesus the suffering servant, as we are blessed to be given the opportunity to emulate and follow Him in giving our all to our family. 

"Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross."-Philippians 2:5-8

I watched my mother for years pour out herself for her family and others. She did it without complaining, but with a quiet and a meek spirit. She showed me Christ and the gospel by giving us grace and mercy and love, while she received nothing in return. So, I am going to ask God to forgive me for where I have wasted the time He has given, for the attitude of my heart, for not coming to Him sooner with my sins, and for not trusting Him fully in this season. And I pray He grant me repentance in these areas, and I am going to put my hand to the plow and not look back.

"And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."-Luke 9:62

So, who's with me? 

ABCs of Me

Just so you know, I've been a bit behind in catching up with blogging. What with blogger erasing posts (both published and some saved for publishing), Lil' Feller had a cold, internet connection problems (thanks AT&T *sarcastic tone implied*), and basically trying to keep up with being a keeper of the home while my husband's working extra long overtime filled days for the last several weeks (that means no breaks or help for mommy :( as he often comes home in time only to put them to bed).
So, please do not think I am complaining, just wanted to let you know why no new posts were coming up :)

And without further adieu, the ABCs....

A-Age: 30 (I know, ugh!!!)
B-Bed size: Plain old double bed, and sometimes I get more than half ;)
C-Chore you dislike: cleaning bathtubs and toilets (Blech!)
D-Dogs: Two, brother and sister full-blooded labs, named Porter and Dolly
E-Essential start to your day: right now, I'd say nursing ;)
F-Favorite color: Yellow, especially bright sunshiney hues
G-Gold or silver: Not really big on either, but my wedding ring and engagement ring are white gold
H-Height: 5'5"
I-Instruments you play: violin/fiddle, mandolin, guitar, bass
J-Job title: mother, wife, homemaker, and Christ follower
K-Kids: Daughter (age 3), Son (2 1/2 months), 2 babies in heaven
L-Live: Tennessee
M-Mom's name: Betsy, but mom to me ;)
N-Nicknames: "S" to my brothers, "Mommy" to my kids, "Chicken" to my grandpa
O-Overnight hospital stays: Only twice, after the birth of my kids
P-Pet peeves: Dirty hands or long fingernails, the toilet paper being hung the wrong way, towels folded differently from how I would fold them, bedsheets that don't line up with the comforter (I could go on and on, yes I'm OCD and insane)
Q-Quote from a movie: "Hello, my name is Inego Montoya. You killed my father. Now prepare to die."-from "The Princess Bride"
R-Righty or lefty: Righty
S-Siblings: Three brothers, two older and one younger
T-Time you wake up: All times, I have a 2 month old and a toddler, so it changes daily
U-Underwear: I'm for it ;)
V-Vegetables: can't think of one I won't eat
W-What makes you run late: Ha! Everything and anything (For example, yesterday as we're heading out the door my daughter couldn't decide which of her plastic jewelry to wear and the baby threw up on me after soiling a diaper, needless to say, we were a little late.)
X-X-rays you've had: Ankle
Y-Yummy food you make: anything sweet or with chocolate, my husband says spaghetti sauce, smoothies, biscuits, quesadillas, mashed potatoes
Z-Zoo animal favorites: the birds and elephants

So there's my ABCs, what does yours look like?

What???

Okay, so I've not stopped blogging, but with the blogger whatever it was problem last week I lost some posts that were saved and were supposed to go up as well as some comments. So sorry for the weird interruptions, but be assured I'm still here and working on getting some new posts done. So until then, please enjoy this video and bear with me and *ahem* blogger :)

Awkward Moments in Modest Dressing: Pregnant Without Sweatpants!

Disclaimer: I am no longer pregnant. These pictures were taken in February and our son was born March 1, 2011. I just didn't get this post done before now ;)

The fact is that when I was pregnant with my daughter, which was mostly during warm weather, I could find a plethora of fairly inexpensive maternity dresses. Which if you've ever been pregnant, you know that in the last few months pants can become very uncomfortable, as everything is too high or too low, and if you've never tried it, trust me, dresses/skirts are not only more comfortable during this period, but actually make you look more put together and attractive instead of a waddling, frumpy mess, ready to pop any second.
This time I was big-pregnant during the coldest part of the year, and was astonished to find that my options for covering myself were either jeans/sweats with tunic type shirts, the same wrap dress (but they were really expensive), and *gag* the blue jean miniskirt (I don't know how many people are wearing miniskirts in the last trimester of pregnancy, but can't imagine that it's a good look for anyone), not to mention that many options weren't very modest.
Undaunted, I decided to go to a local fabric store and look for some maternity sewing patterns to fill this void in my wardrobe. (Which I must say was so unbelievably and amply stocked through God's grace in providing me clothing through some very generous mothers. Thank you Crissy and Mrs. Walker!!! So, I had plenty of tops and pants, but not even a skirt to wear.) The problem was that even in pattern books you could find that same wrap dress (which I don't particularly care for as I have a 3yr. old I can envision lifting the fabric to see what's under "wraps", and there's wind).
*Sigh* So, what's a girl to do?!?
One word. Ebay. Yes, ebay.
I went to ebay and started looking through vintage patterns for maternity wear, and was delighted to find so many so cheap (many as cheap as $0.99! Woo Hoo!) and they looked more like regular dresses. They weren't tight everywhere, but were totally tailored and gorgeous!
So, I sewed, and sewed, and sewed, and ........ here's some results!

The pattern I used was a size 10, and fit well without modifying. I used a thin knit jersey (think cool and comfy fabrics) in grey. This was one of the most comfortable dresses I've ever worn, and the drawstring empire waist made it perfect even in the last trimester.

This pattern was a size 10, too, but I actually had to take it in quite a bit. This was the easiest to sew, and I used black polyester suiting material. It doesn't wrinkle easily or require ironing and this style works well with a sweater or fitted blazer (even if you can't button it anymore) and it gave me a dressy option without being uncomfortable.

This photo was suggested by Shelby.

This pattern was a size 16, but I didn't have to do much taking in due to the full nature of the skirt, just added a fabric tie-belt in the same material to keep it from looking like a muu muu when I was at my biggest. I wish I would've made it a little longer, and I had to refit the sleeves and neck (apparently my neck is bigger than the average pregnant woman in the 60s). I used a plaid cotton blend, but the material I chose shrunk a little, so definitely wash your fabric before cutting. Also very comfortable dress that worked well with leggings.

I used the pattern below for this top. I used a brown wool suiting material that had a gold thread running through it. It has a beautiful removable cowl neck and box pleating on the back. I used the Simplicity pattern below to make the matching skirt.

This was my attempt to show the box pleating in the back. Neither of these pictures really do this suit justice. It turned out so wonderfully, and I loved wearing it. I always got lots of compliments in it, and it made a really nice church outfit.

I made this skirt from the above pattern out of a wool black and white tweed.  This was a wardrobe staple and was very comfortable. I did not make the red sweater, but already had it.

I made this skirt by cutting apart a pair of wide-leg jean maternity capris that I bought at Walmart on clearance for $1!!! I wore it a lot more when I wasn't so big. It had a low elastic waist band, and by the time I was really big, I just didn't find that comfortable.

I did actually make the three-quarter sleeve suit from this pattern, but didn't get a chance to take a picture before I had our son. I used a bluish green thin suiting material for it, and I loved the pilgrim collar. 

If you're looking for vintage patterns on ebay look for bundles and make sure you check the shipping (it shouldn't cost $5.00 to ship a pattern). Also look to see if it is being sold "as is" or if the seller has checked to ensure that all the pieces and instructions are intact. Also for making maternity panels in skirts I cut up old t-shirts with an elastic casing at the top, and they were definitely comfortable.
If you're pregnant, I hope you enjoy being feminine and modest as much as I did :)
So, should pregnant women start demanding better clothing options for winter bigness? I say YES!
What say you?

31 Days To Clean Homemaking Challenge: Day Two

Sorry this post is a little late, but I try to take the weekends off from blogging and as the author has suggested, am taking weekends off from the challenge. Not that I do not do housework or clean on the weekends, it's just the specific challenges that I am not doing then. Plus, my husband often works long hours during the week, but is usually off on the weekends, so Saturday is an essential family time for us each week, and Sunday, well, it's the Lord's day :)


So here's Day Two: 


The Mary challenge is to look at your home and find ways you can make it come alive. So, I'm thinking of both ways I can bring "life" to my family relationally and how I can just make my home prettier, more comfortable, and well, just more homey.
A big thing for me is to become self-absorbed. I tend, especially when cleaning or doing housework, to just focus so completely on it. It's almost therapeutic. It doesn't help me right now with this cleaning challenge to have a nursing two month old who has acid reflux and colick as well as a three year old who's very mommy-attached. So, and this is a confession for me, I get frustrated and even angry. I obviously have a hard time completing tasks right now, and that just frustrates me so much that I know I'm sucking the fun and "life" right out of my home. So, for me, even though I like the thought of doing more organizing or decorating to help, I know the biggest thing I can do right now is work on not getting so upset or frustrated when things don't go my way, because that's what's frustrating me the most, MY schedule is interrupted. 
I know my children are a blessing and I really am so grateful to God for them, but I think like most moms, I just let my frustration get the better of me sometimes. So, here are some Scriptures I will be trying to memorize in the hope that they will help me combat the anger I am prone to take out on my family. 
"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil."-Psalm 37:8
"Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools."-Ecclesiastes 7:9
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger"-Ephesians 4:26
"Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy,  drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."-Galatians 5:19-23
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice."-Ephesians 4:31
"But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth."-Colossians 3:8
"I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling;"-1 Timothy 2:8
"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."-James 1:19-20
"A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression."-Proverbs 29:22

As far as the frustration that is causing my anger, I'm going to try to work out some sort of system to enable me to be more efficient in my cleaning. I have nothing very structured set in place, but am going to ask my husband to help me find something that works. I have a feeling that he could definitely point out some areas where I'm being very inefficient. I'll try to post my system when I have something definite and that works set in place.


Martha Challenge Day Two:
Clean refridgerator and freezer. Surprisingly this part again was way easier than the introspective and *gulp* convicting Mary challenge. I will not tell you how old some of the expiration dates were or what was lurking in the back. We have a deep freeze in the basement, but I haven't had the opportunity to tackle it yet. It needs to be thawed out anyway, but I may have to wait until my husband's here to help watch the kids for that. 

This picture was actually taken while I was still pregnant and is completely unrelated, and actually unposed ;)
For those interested, Shelby is still working on getting her own blog started, and I'll keep you posted on it's progress.

I hope you all are making progress in your cleaning and hope that we all emerge not just with cleaner homes, but with homes filled with "life". So, how are you changing the way you clean? Are you being as convicted as I am?

31 Days To Clean Homemaking Challenge: Day One :D

Okay, so first know that you don't have to purchase the book, but it definitely will help you to follow the challenge. Second that the idea of the challenge isn't really about always having a spotless home per se, but more about examining our hearts and growing in our understanding of how keeping a home is glorifying to God.

Each day has a Mary and a Martha challenge.

Day One's Mary challenge is to as the question, "Why do you want a clean home?" and to come up with a mission statement. This is to keep you motivated to be consistent (the main problem I have). You are to place it where you can read it each day and it should take you no more than a minute to read it. I am long winded in everything I write or say, so here are my reasons. I've written them for our family, mostly in the hopes that I can teach these to our children. I call them my Dirty Dozen (I wasn't aiming for twelve, it just came out that way).

Mrs. W's Dirty Dozen:
1. We clean to honor God by being good stewards with what He has given us and showing our gratitude for it.
2. We clean to honor our husband/father by making and keeping our home a welcoming and restful place.
3. We clean to be an example of productivity and stewardship to each other and to others outside of our home.
4. We clean to practice self-discipline.
5. We clean to practice self-denial.
6. We clean for the sake of cleanliness, sanitation, and sanity.
7. We clean to serve others, and not just those in our family, but also our guests.
8. We clean to keep from falling into the temptations of being slothful,        
laziness, and idleness.
9. We clean to keep things orderly and create a beauty in our home reflective of God's order and beauty in creation.
10. We clean to keep things where we can find them easily.
11. We clean to reduce stress, anger, and frustration.
12. We clean so that we may truly set aside a time of rest from our work.

Day One's Martha challenge is to gather supplies. Oh yeah, I've got that one down ; )

31 Days To Clean Homemaking Challenge

Yes, I am a little late in joining the challenge, but I'm going to try to do it by God's grace :)
Click here to read the introduction to the challenge and  here to read Day One's challenge, and let me know how you're doing, and hopefully we'll all have cleaner homes ;)