"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."-1 Peter 3:1-6
This Scripture has stood out to me throughout this. After all, aren't I just putting too much focus on what I'm wearing? Yes, and no. My adorning is to be the hidden person of the heart, not the external things I wear, but can't you see part of the hidden person of the heart in what someone is wearing?
For example, when I was in college I used to hide a couple mini-skirts I had bought from my parents, I knew they wouldn't stop me from wearing them as I was an adult, but I also knew they would be sorely disappointed in my desire to wear them. (Yes, in retrospect, they probably knew all about them. They were way smarter than I gave them credit for.) The hidden person of my heart knew what effect wearing such clothing would have on men around me, and deep down I wanted that. I was sinful in wearing them. My heart was wanting to incite lust, and I may offend, but the majority of females over the age of like 10 in our culture know what it means to be sexy and why someone would wear a mini-skirt. I was in my 20s and knew exactly why I was wearing them and the attention I was garnering.
I soon became convicted of my apparel through Scripture and the teaching of Nancy Leigh Dumass and her women's ministry, Revive Our Hearts . God, the Holy Spirit wouldn't allow me to have any peace and continue in this way.
I said all this to lead up to this point. I have a little girl. I have a little girl who is decidedly feminine and desires to wear feminine clothing and to be all things feminine. She is proud and happy to be a girl, and I don't want that to ever change. I want her to be satisfied and to give glory to God for creating her just the way she is.
I also see something scary on the potential horizon. The world we live in only gives a couple of options. Either we are supposed to suppress our femininity and attempt to become androginous, or we are supposed to be ultra sexy to prove that we are a woman physically by being seductive towards men and boys, or we are supposed to be a stereotype woman that is always made up with too much glitter and jewels never being enough and shopping for more clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. is what is expected of us.
Unfortunately, none of these even come close to the biblical standard for feminine behavior or dress that glorifies God.
But I know that those examples are the prevalent ones my daughter will see and be exposed to, even though we are homeschooling and have no cable. I can already see her desire for beautiful clothes in abundance and shopping and jewelry and make-up. And they are completely natural desires, but I want her to see the vanity of making those things her primary pursuit.
It's that realization that has truly made me reconsider how feminine I am, I mean how close I am to godly femininity, the kind that honors and glorifies Him alone and proclaims Him to the world.
I have to deal with my own pride and arrogance in this area first, if I want my daughter to see a better example. Not that I'm perfect, and I never will be, but I have to strive to be better, for the sake of my God's glory first, and my daughter's example second.
If we truly want our daughter's to not fall into the traps the world has set up for women, than we have to be the example for them, by God's grace. It is just as sinful to reject the fact that God has made us female in not submitting to the authority of our husbands as it is to try and be androgenous, or to intentionally dress in a way to incite lust, or to dress in fancy clothes and make-up in order to draw attention to us, or to covet things to the point of continuous shopping for more things. No woman can honestly say that we haven't sinned somehow in this area, especially me, but to quote our blessed Lord Jesus:
"And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."-John 8:7-11.
Let us turn our backs to the sins we have committed and seeing the forgiveness of God in Christ for our sins, "go" and "sin no more".
How do you show godly womanhood to your daughters?
This Scripture has stood out to me throughout this. After all, aren't I just putting too much focus on what I'm wearing? Yes, and no. My adorning is to be the hidden person of the heart, not the external things I wear, but can't you see part of the hidden person of the heart in what someone is wearing?
For example, when I was in college I used to hide a couple mini-skirts I had bought from my parents, I knew they wouldn't stop me from wearing them as I was an adult, but I also knew they would be sorely disappointed in my desire to wear them. (Yes, in retrospect, they probably knew all about them. They were way smarter than I gave them credit for.) The hidden person of my heart knew what effect wearing such clothing would have on men around me, and deep down I wanted that. I was sinful in wearing them. My heart was wanting to incite lust, and I may offend, but the majority of females over the age of like 10 in our culture know what it means to be sexy and why someone would wear a mini-skirt. I was in my 20s and knew exactly why I was wearing them and the attention I was garnering.
I soon became convicted of my apparel through Scripture and the teaching of Nancy Leigh Dumass and her women's ministry, Revive Our Hearts . God, the Holy Spirit wouldn't allow me to have any peace and continue in this way.
 |
| Day 2: I had my 6 wks postpartum checkup, so a little more intimidating for me, as others might be saying, "Why on earth is she wearing a skirt (and a long one at that)?" Oh, and btw, this is what happens to old jeans at my house. They turn into skirts and such ;) |
I also see something scary on the potential horizon. The world we live in only gives a couple of options. Either we are supposed to suppress our femininity and attempt to become androginous, or we are supposed to be ultra sexy to prove that we are a woman physically by being seductive towards men and boys, or we are supposed to be a stereotype woman that is always made up with too much glitter and jewels never being enough and shopping for more clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. is what is expected of us.
Unfortunately, none of these even come close to the biblical standard for feminine behavior or dress that glorifies God.
But I know that those examples are the prevalent ones my daughter will see and be exposed to, even though we are homeschooling and have no cable. I can already see her desire for beautiful clothes in abundance and shopping and jewelry and make-up. And they are completely natural desires, but I want her to see the vanity of making those things her primary pursuit.
It's that realization that has truly made me reconsider how feminine I am, I mean how close I am to godly femininity, the kind that honors and glorifies Him alone and proclaims Him to the world.
I have to deal with my own pride and arrogance in this area first, if I want my daughter to see a better example. Not that I'm perfect, and I never will be, but I have to strive to be better, for the sake of my God's glory first, and my daughter's example second.
If we truly want our daughter's to not fall into the traps the world has set up for women, than we have to be the example for them, by God's grace. It is just as sinful to reject the fact that God has made us female in not submitting to the authority of our husbands as it is to try and be androgenous, or to intentionally dress in a way to incite lust, or to dress in fancy clothes and make-up in order to draw attention to us, or to covet things to the point of continuous shopping for more things. No woman can honestly say that we haven't sinned somehow in this area, especially me, but to quote our blessed Lord Jesus:
"And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."-John 8:7-11.
Let us turn our backs to the sins we have committed and seeing the forgiveness of God in Christ for our sins, "go" and "sin no more".
How do you show godly womanhood to your daughters?
5 comments:
Okay, you have GOT to show me how to turn old jeans into skirts.
I'll try to make it a future blog ;)
It's not hard or I couldn't do it.
I am glad for you that you are praying to protect your daughter from the heartache that is inevitable when we fear the judgment of human beings more than we fear God. I did not have your wisdom during my daughter's growing up years. Despite this sin (unrecognized then, now repented of and forgiven) I also prayed, exhorted, and fought for her; and by God's grace, today she is a gracious, Godly, modest, and quite conservatively dressed 30-year-old who honors and serves the Lord. God is so good. As imperfect people, we will make sin-based errors in our parenting, but we serve a Lord who has covered our sin and makes provision for His own. Praise God for His forgiveness and grace!
Linda, God's sovereignty to save us in spite of what we or anyone else (as we are all inherently sinful) is my greatest hope for the salvation of my children! To know that if He calls them to Himself they cannot refuse! What a blessing! Thank God for the grace bestowed upon parents and children. I am actually more afraid she will be caught up in the materialism that's supposed to be feminine than immodesty. I suppose because I can kind of control immodest dressing for a while. Thank you so much for your kindness and exhortation. I don't feel very wise, but thank God for every crumb of wisdom He sees fit to give. All glory and honor to the author and perfector of our faith!
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