Awkward Moments in Modest Dressing: Pregnant Without Sweatpants!

Disclaimer: I am no longer pregnant. These pictures were taken in February and our son was born March 1, 2011. I just didn't get this post done before now ;)

The fact is that when I was pregnant with my daughter, which was mostly during warm weather, I could find a plethora of fairly inexpensive maternity dresses. Which if you've ever been pregnant, you know that in the last few months pants can become very uncomfortable, as everything is too high or too low, and if you've never tried it, trust me, dresses/skirts are not only more comfortable during this period, but actually make you look more put together and attractive instead of a waddling, frumpy mess, ready to pop any second.
This time I was big-pregnant during the coldest part of the year, and was astonished to find that my options for covering myself were either jeans/sweats with tunic type shirts, the same wrap dress (but they were really expensive), and *gag* the blue jean miniskirt (I don't know how many people are wearing miniskirts in the last trimester of pregnancy, but can't imagine that it's a good look for anyone), not to mention that many options weren't very modest.
Undaunted, I decided to go to a local fabric store and look for some maternity sewing patterns to fill this void in my wardrobe. (Which I must say was so unbelievably and amply stocked through God's grace in providing me clothing through some very generous mothers. Thank you Crissy and Mrs. Walker!!! So, I had plenty of tops and pants, but not even a skirt to wear.) The problem was that even in pattern books you could find that same wrap dress (which I don't particularly care for as I have a 3yr. old I can envision lifting the fabric to see what's under "wraps", and there's wind).
*Sigh* So, what's a girl to do?!?
One word. Ebay. Yes, ebay.
I went to ebay and started looking through vintage patterns for maternity wear, and was delighted to find so many so cheap (many as cheap as $0.99! Woo Hoo!) and they looked more like regular dresses. They weren't tight everywhere, but were totally tailored and gorgeous!
So, I sewed, and sewed, and sewed, and ........ here's some results!

The pattern I used was a size 10, and fit well without modifying. I used a thin knit jersey (think cool and comfy fabrics) in grey. This was one of the most comfortable dresses I've ever worn, and the drawstring empire waist made it perfect even in the last trimester.

This pattern was a size 10, too, but I actually had to take it in quite a bit. This was the easiest to sew, and I used black polyester suiting material. It doesn't wrinkle easily or require ironing and this style works well with a sweater or fitted blazer (even if you can't button it anymore) and it gave me a dressy option without being uncomfortable.

This photo was suggested by Shelby.

This pattern was a size 16, but I didn't have to do much taking in due to the full nature of the skirt, just added a fabric tie-belt in the same material to keep it from looking like a muu muu when I was at my biggest. I wish I would've made it a little longer, and I had to refit the sleeves and neck (apparently my neck is bigger than the average pregnant woman in the 60s). I used a plaid cotton blend, but the material I chose shrunk a little, so definitely wash your fabric before cutting. Also very comfortable dress that worked well with leggings.

I used the pattern below for this top. I used a brown wool suiting material that had a gold thread running through it. It has a beautiful removable cowl neck and box pleating on the back. I used the Simplicity pattern below to make the matching skirt.

This was my attempt to show the box pleating in the back. Neither of these pictures really do this suit justice. It turned out so wonderfully, and I loved wearing it. I always got lots of compliments in it, and it made a really nice church outfit.

I made this skirt from the above pattern out of a wool black and white tweed.  This was a wardrobe staple and was very comfortable. I did not make the red sweater, but already had it.

I made this skirt by cutting apart a pair of wide-leg jean maternity capris that I bought at Walmart on clearance for $1!!! I wore it a lot more when I wasn't so big. It had a low elastic waist band, and by the time I was really big, I just didn't find that comfortable.

I did actually make the three-quarter sleeve suit from this pattern, but didn't get a chance to take a picture before I had our son. I used a bluish green thin suiting material for it, and I loved the pilgrim collar. 

If you're looking for vintage patterns on ebay look for bundles and make sure you check the shipping (it shouldn't cost $5.00 to ship a pattern). Also look to see if it is being sold "as is" or if the seller has checked to ensure that all the pieces and instructions are intact. Also for making maternity panels in skirts I cut up old t-shirts with an elastic casing at the top, and they were definitely comfortable.
If you're pregnant, I hope you enjoy being feminine and modest as much as I did :)
So, should pregnant women start demanding better clothing options for winter bigness? I say YES!
What say you?

Dressing to Please....

After more than a week of wearing mostly dresses and skirts, I've already learned a few things about myself and my family.
First, I did end up wearing sweatpants a couple of days, but I felt so lazy and unmotivated. It's probably just me, but putting on something that's not remotely like pajamas, something I have to think about makes me more productive and less likely to sit in front of a tv and vegetate.
Second, I also have noticed that I just feel good in dresses and skirts, not because I am congratulating myself with any false hope of superiority or accomplishment, but I just feel, well, more like a woman. I mean like a real woman. I wasn't expecting this, but I feel more akin to my mom and grandmothers. As if there's some maturity in wearing something feminine, some connection to a time when women were obviously women, and strong women at that, and men were clearly men. I think our generation of young women ( and some middle-aged) have bought the lie that we need to be tough and leaders taking authority, and it's reflected in our dressing much like the guys (the phrase "wearing the pants" comes to mind). My standard uniform used to be t-shirts and jeans. Albeit I do wear t-shirts with jean skirts, but somehow it seems so different.
Thirdly, I have noticed my husband likes to see me out of sweats sometimes. Of course, he says he likes to see me period, regardless of what I am or am not wearing. I think it shows that I want to not only honor him by making the effort to be attractive, but that I want to honor him in being modest and feminine as his wife for him and no one else.
Fourthly, my daughter really has noticed. She often comes up to me and says, "I like your dress. It's so pretty. Mommy, can I wear a dress today?". I love seeing little girls in little dresses :) And there's been less talk about looking like the Disney princesses and more of her comparing herself to me! (Talk about a terrifying responsibility!)
Fifthly and finally, but most importantly, has been the realization that simply being countercultural may seem hard at first (but you can get used to it), but it's honoring to God. One of the things I remember my parents saying to us as kids when we asked to do something they deemed too worldly or inappropriate, was that we were "set apart" ("But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him."-Psalm 4:3 ) for God and were supposed to be a "peculiar people" ("For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth."-Deuteronomy 14:2 ; "And the LORD hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments; And to make thee high above all nations which he hath made, in praise, and in name, and in honour; and that thou mayest be an holy people unto the LORD thy God, as he hath spoken."-Deuteronomy 26:18-19 ; "Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works."-Titus 2:14 ; "Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works."-1 Peter 2:9 ) not "of the world" we live in. That's always stayed with me, and I think has often encouraged me, even when I was unregenerate and lost as could be, to go against the grain to be different if I wanted to be and not worry about what others think. There's a freedom in Christ that allows us to disregard what men think of us for the sake of the gospel. 





"Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever."-1 John 2:15-17 .

We know anything that could cause another to sin, is not worth doing. This video by C.J. Maheny gives an honest response from guys about lust and about immodest dress in the church among their sisters in Christ. My favorite part is when he quotes a woman who decides not to buy a shirt she likes and says, "I just can't do that to the guys." That line has stuck with me, and pops up in my mind to remind me when I'm considering what I wear.
So, why do you wear what you wear?
Love in truth. 

Day 3 & 4: Mothers and Sons

This dress-top actually has lots of feminine
details made impossible to see due to blurry
photography (my fault) and baby crying.

First of all, (dear husband), I did not cheat. My husband accused me of cheating by wearing this on day 3, but as I told him, I never said I would only wear dresses/skirts. I said I would be dressing more femininely and that I did believe pants could be feminine. He likes to tease me. But, technically this is a dress. I bought it on sale at Old Navy a couple years back for like $3. It was supposed to be a mini shirt dress, but I always wore pants under it. Yes, even mini skirts can sometimes be adapted to modest clothing. I've often found they make great tunic tops, because they do cover your behind (just make sure they aren't tight).
Another unexpected result of this has been my daughter has asked me to make her several play dresses as she has outgrown much of her summer wardrobe from last year. Mommy is going to try her best and oblige, just maybe not all at once.
I've been thinking about my son, and how I hope he sees his mommy. Modest dressing is not only a female issue, but as female immodesty can incite lust in men and lead them to sin, I think how they view modesty is a big deal. My husband has been very open with me about how men view women, and it's not just the young attractive ones, it's any of them dressed immodestly. Unfortunately, he's said many times women and girls at church are dressed immodestly and even in that setting it's difficult for men to not look.

Day 4: Why yes, that is Rainbow
Bright on my shirt ;)

"My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they [fn] will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress."-Proverbs 6:20-24
It's easy to see how feminine dressing could affect our daughters, but what about sons? 
Scripture says a mother's teaching can keep him from the adulterous woman one day. What does our dress teach our sons? If they see their mother's celebrating femininity in a godly and modest way, won't they desire to look for that in a wife? If they see her longing to make even the way she dresses a way to bring glory to God and to honor her husband, won't they long for such a wife? 

Day 4 take 2.  Quick change before company
came. I didn't want anyone to smell spit up.

I don't have all the answers, but I can't help but think that dressing in any way to honor God must leave our daughters and sons with the reality of God and of the importance of submitting to His Word, all of it. 
It comes down to two words: orthodoxy and orthopraxy. 
Most of us know what orthodoxy is. It's what we say we believe of the Scriptures. But orthopraxy is how we live that out. To be a hypocrite, for example, is for your orthodoxy to not line up with your orthopraxy. 
For me, reconsidering how I dress is one more way to show my family and the world that I really believe what I say I believe, but most of all to honor God by a willingness to submit in this part of my life. 
So, what does your dress say to others?

Day 2: Nothing to Wear, but Christ :)

"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."-1 Peter 3:1-6


This Scripture has stood out to me throughout this. After all, aren't I just putting too much focus on what I'm wearing? Yes, and no. My adorning is to be the hidden person of the heart, not the external things I wear, but can't you see part of the hidden person of the heart in what someone is wearing? 
For example, when I was in college I used to hide a couple mini-skirts I had bought from my parents, I knew they wouldn't stop me from wearing them as I was an adult, but I also knew they would be sorely disappointed in my desire to wear them. (Yes, in retrospect, they probably knew all about them. They were way smarter than I gave them credit for.) The hidden person of my heart knew what effect wearing such clothing would have on men around me, and deep down I wanted that. I was sinful in wearing them. My heart was wanting to incite lust, and I may offend, but the majority of females over the age of like 10 in our culture know what it means to be sexy and why someone would wear a mini-skirt. I was in my 20s and knew exactly why I was wearing them and the attention I was garnering. 
I soon became convicted of my apparel through Scripture and the teaching of Nancy Leigh Dumass and her women's ministry, Revive Our Hearts . God, the Holy Spirit wouldn't allow me to have any peace and continue in this way. 

Day 2: I had my 6 wks postpartum checkup, so a little more
intimidating for me, as others might be saying, "Why
on earth is she wearing a skirt (and a long one at that)?"
Oh, and btw, this is what happens to old jeans at my house.
They turn into skirts and such ;)

I said all this to lead up to this point. I have a little girl. I have a little girl who is decidedly feminine and desires to wear feminine clothing and to be all things feminine. She is proud and happy to be a girl, and I don't want that to ever change. I want her to be satisfied and to give glory to God for creating her just the way she is. 
I also see something scary on the potential horizon. The world we live in only gives a couple of options. Either we are supposed to suppress our femininity and attempt to become androginous, or we are supposed to be ultra sexy to prove that we are a woman physically by being seductive towards men and boys, or we are supposed to be a stereotype woman that is always made up with too much glitter and jewels never being enough and shopping for more clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. is what is expected of us. 
Unfortunately, none of these even come close to the biblical standard for feminine behavior or dress that glorifies God.
But I know that those examples are the prevalent ones my daughter will see and be exposed to, even though we are homeschooling and have no cable. I can already see her desire for beautiful clothes in abundance and shopping and jewelry and make-up. And they are completely natural desires, but I want her to see the vanity of making those things her primary pursuit. 
It's that realization that has truly made me reconsider how feminine I am, I mean how close I am to godly femininity, the kind that honors and glorifies Him alone and proclaims Him to the world. 
I have to deal with my own pride and arrogance in this area first, if I want my daughter to see a better example. Not that I'm perfect, and I never will be, but I have to strive to be better, for the sake of my God's glory first, and my daughter's example second. 
If we truly want our daughter's to not fall into the traps the world has set up for women, than we have to be the example for them, by God's grace. It is just as sinful to reject the fact that God has made us female in not submitting to the authority of our husbands as it is to try and be androgenous, or to intentionally dress in a way to incite lust, or to dress in fancy clothes and make-up in order to draw attention to us, or to covet things to the point of continuous shopping for more things. No woman can honestly say that we haven't sinned somehow in this area, especially me, but to quote our blessed Lord Jesus:
"And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."-John 8:7-11.
Let us turn our backs to the sins we have committed and seeing the forgiveness of God in Christ for our sins, "go" and "sin no more".
How do you show godly womanhood to your daughters?

Day 1: Going Nowhere in a Dress

Okay, I know, I know I said I would be doing weekly updates, but I just couldn't wait to post my first day in a dress! (And no, I don't mean I've never worn a dress before!)
And I'm so excited, because this is the real challenge for me, I'm not leaving my home today! That may seem weird to you, but that's always been the hardest thing for me. Trying to justify the wearing of a dress when I am only going to be seen by my family, and possibly some neighbors when I hang up laundry or go to the mailbox.

Sorry for the bad quality, but I'm not good at taking my
own picture. It's actually mid-calf length with a tie in the back,
and I'm wearing a green and ivory striped polo-type
 shirt with puffed sleeves.  The dress is made from some
natural tone muslin that I had leftover from curtains I made as
a teenager. (Yup, I save everything forever, or
 at least until a project comes up!)

This is a dress that I made when I was nursing Shelby, because it's easily converted to nursing. So, I've actually had this a while. Yes, I know it's a little wrinkly, but, honestly, if I have to iron everything I wear around the house, then this isn't going to work, ever. (I detest ironing, and tell myself that a few wrinkles just makes people think you've been working, hee, hee.)
Here's the unexpected part: my daughter loves it, and keeps telling me I'm pretty :) So, already I can see how what I wear affects her perception of me.
My husband's working late tonight, so I won't know what he thinks for a while. But, can you keep a secret? He doesn't follow my blog very often, so....he doesn't know about my challenge to be more feminine in the way I dress. And I prefer it that way, hee, hee. I'm waiting to see his honest reaction when he notices something different! (Let's hope he notices, lol!)
Anyway, I can tell that it makes me want to keep cleaner while doing housework, so....looks like I'll have a good excuse to try some more apron sewing, and I have just the vintagy patterns to do it.
(That last bit makes me very happy. Not because I can't find enough sewing projects, but because I've been wanting to sew more aprons for a long time, but was relegated to needed sewing, still fun, but more practical stuff, often with a deadline. Not as much fun.) Here's hoping I can get my housework and cleaning done, so I can start sewing!!! (Stay tuned and I'll post apron progress and pics!)
So, here's my first day. How do you think I did? How did you do? And please be easy on me, I'm new at this ;)

Dressing Up Challenge

Okay, first may I start by saying I don't think there's anything sinful or immodest in the wearing of pants, and they can be very feminine. I think that low cut dresses or tops or short skirts or even just tight and body clinging clothing are a lot more immodest than a pair of pleat front capris or pants (one of my favorite pairs of capris are a charcoal pair with pleats in the front, and they just beg to be worn with a floral or well tailored feminine blouse).
"The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so [are] abomination unto the LORD thy God." - Dueteronomy 22:5
The biblical mandate is for femininity, not for a particular piece of clothing, but for whatever clothing is feminine and associated with women. (Men at the time this was written actually wore long flowing robes and tunics that were dresslike.)

But....for some time now (a couple of years actually), I have been thinking about my femininity, or perhaps lack thereof. Maybe it's because my daughter is so ultra-feminine in her clothing choices, or perhaps because I had some elegant examples of femininity in my mother and grandmothers and many church ladies and teachers. It could have something to do with the fact that I grew up as the only girl with three brothers, and wanted to be just like my big brothers, meaning all the rough and muddy play in patched jeans imaginable. Maybe it was brought on by my mom giving me some vintage dress patterns she had or my obsession with vintage patterns on Ebay . Or it could be that I hate the fact that people (at least according to the movies) used to dress much nicer or formally. Even while doing housework, my grandma looked much more put together, because she was wearing a dress. I remember often as a little girl just watching in awe as my mom or grandmas were getting ready and going into their closets to look at the pretty skirts, dresses, and blouses, not to mention going over their dressers with pretty boxes, jewelry, and such sweet smells. Even after the death of my dad's mom in 2009, I remember going into her closet without any clothes in it, and being able to smell them, the smell of delicate sachets that were always present, and feeling comforted in savoring the pleasing scent.

My maternal grandmother

Femininity was something I wanted, and yet ran from, perhaps because of our gender neutral culture, where you are supposed to pretend that gender doesn't matter while you dress like a "lady of the evening" (thanks to Mrs. Grigsby, my high school spanish teacher who was a great example of a true lady, and who gave that description about immodestly dressed girls).
I think though the greatest reason I've been thinking more about wearing dresses has been because I have felt that my adamant refusal has more to do with pride and my rejection of the feminine nature God has given me than anything else. Pride, because I don't want to be legalistic or even have the appearance of it. It's hard to just go to the grocery store in a dress without me feeling as though people are looking at me and thinking I'm trying to look more holy. I know, I know, it's all in my head, no one cares what I'm wearing at the grocery store, but I suppose I'm just having a hard time not thinking about what others think of me. It's a pathetically sad excuse, but that's where I'm at.
I realize that I can be feminine in pants, but also know that I'm prone to just wear t-shirts and jeans, and at least a t-shirt with a skirt or a jersey dress would force femininity on me, and be just as comfortable. I just can't help but feel that my resistance to being more feminine in appearance has more to do with my pride and my wanting to be in charge and my rejecting of what God has made me.
The other great reason is because when I do dress more femininely my husband not only compliments me, but always says how much he wishes I would wear more feminine clothing more often. Every time he says this I feel so guilty. Not because I wear pants, but because he's right. I often find myself in t-shirts (usually old ones at that) or workout clothes when he comes home and on weekends. I want to please him, but I find myself holding onto selfish desires in this one area, claiming excuses of comfort and practicality when it actually comes down to I want to do what I want to do, and I don't care enough about his opinion to make any real changes just to please my husband.

So, in an endeavor to hold myself accountable, I am going to spend the rest of this spring and summer trying to be more feminine in my daily dress, and I'm going to document and give weekly updates here. This doesn't mean I will be wearing dresses to work in the garden or to run a couple of miles, but I am going to try and wear dresses skirts and more feminine shirts and pants even when I'm staying at home all day.
This is not going to be easy for me as I am inevitably fickle about most things and have trouble actually following through with things, but I'm counting on you to help me, and if any of you would like to join me, I'd love to hear how you're doing. So, go ahead and join me, won't you?
I would love to hear from any of you about how you've dealt with this area or if you're struggling like me.